Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in stewarthatesall's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, December 17th, 2005
7:40 pm	so forget all this i've said about being depressed, sure all these recent problems have made me sad, but screw all of it. i'm moving on and heading in the right direction again. i'm 19 not 39, so i should act more MY age, like not worry about one girl in a serious relationship. i mean who wants a girl who doesn't accept you and then also lies to you. forget all that. i've lost all emotions and respect for you. no problems anymore, it's holiday season and it's now time for me to be happy. yay! Current Mood: refreshed Current Music: trey songz- gotta make it (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 14th, 2005
5:31 pm	so i don't get it. do girls really just care about going out with someone that has plans on making money in the future. that's pretty much what i have been told. to think that a girl has lost interest in you because you plan on being in the military and then working in public safety as a firefighter. i mean sure, you don't make that much money, but is it really that much worse than being a banker or engineer. just because i will never make 100 grand a year and be home by 5 pm everyday, does that make me so much how do you say, less interesting. that's what i've been told though. it will never make sense to me, i guess people really do worry more about having money and being wealthy, rather than be proud to know that what they do makes a huge impact on an entire community or even the whole country. i mean someone needs to take the job as the protector right? well, if a certain someone can't respect me for who i am and what i want to do with my life, and they'd rather be with an engineer or doctor or businessman who will have enough money for her to spend on whatever, go right ahead i guess i don't need you. but if all girls think the same way as this one person does, i guess i'll just be single forever. are all girls like this though? i hope not, there's gotta be some girls out there who don't think this way. o well, whatever Current Mood: curious Current Music: Guttermouth- Bruce Lee vs. The Kiss Army (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
1:33 am	god i am so lonely. valdosta has drained my body of all energy and happiness i use to have. my life sucks so bad right now. i believe that in december i am gonna join the air force so that i can get away from my mess that is this current life. although i will miss my friends, we can stay in contact and for some of those people out there, maybe it will get my mind of ya'll and make me forget all about you people. i'm sure some people would care less. sometimes i wish that i was a different person and lived in a different place so that i would not have to deal with all these problems i have. i mean i use to laugh at the thought of me ever being depressed. 2 years ago i could have never guessed that i would get so depressed. i guess that was because every thing in my life was looking so positive (posi). i get so down when i think about who i've turned into. i guess i've just been living a big lie, some life that i don't deserve. it just tears me up the most that i turned my best friend (even tho i was to blind to realize it at the time) into someone that pretty much hates me now. i turned into this person that hid all emotions and acted like i didnt want to have any fun. and i took up all this anger inside of me on the person i loved the most. i still can't believe any of this madness, sometimes i just wanna go to sleep and wake up and everything will be alright. my dreams even have to do with my problems. i feel so dumb. i'm just so weak right now and it pisses me off, i feel like i just want to bust some people open but thats just my emotions telling me this. some people i just can't believe tho, and i don't think i ever will. i just hope that getting away from my problems will make them go away. i sure hope so. i'm not really big on religion anymore but sometimes i question why things happen. i just have trouble believing the "everything happens for a reason" theory. i dunoo, do i need professional help, or do i just need my friends to help me out. i really don't know what's important in my life right now Current Mood: drained (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 12th, 2005
4:24 pm	i'm seriously going crazy. i want to just withdrawal from school and leave this place. i don't care if i only have 4 weeks left of school and i have a's and b's, i cannot take living here. my life has ended up turning so shitty even though i believed it was getting better. it's hard to still love someone when deep down they pretty much hate you and don't want anything to do with you. what's even worse is that these people lie to you and don't even let you know the truth. and screw those skinny assholes who take your girlfriend away from you. all i have to say is that georgia state ruins relationships whether you go there or not. any guy who has a gf that plans on going and you are not, don't expect to stay with your gf because she will find a new guy in that stupid ga state village. Current Mood: stressed Current Music: And When I Die- Blood, Sweat and Tears (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, November 4th, 2005
10:08 pm	so jarhead wasn't a bad movie. it was actually very close to the book, it just cut out a bit of the life stories but thats ok. i also like how they made air force pilots look bad instead of marine tankers (you would of had to read the book). but overall, i feel pretty relaxed right now, i guess i just needed a new "war" movie in my system, no only joking. Current Music: warren g- g'd up sound (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 31st, 2005
8:28 pm	why do people still act like halloween is such a big thing? i'm sorry i guess i'll never get it. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 30th, 2005
5:52 pm	why? i just don't understand some people anymore. we're given the opportunity to go out on our own and do big things, but some don't want to do anything productive with themselves. its sad but what can you do about it right. heres that thing ryan did: r e l a t i o n s h i p s 1. who are your best friends?: ryan, matt, mark, others 2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: not anymore 3. did you send this to your crush?: hell no 4. did your crush send this to you?: definitely not 5. longest relationship?: 2 years 6. how many actual relationships have you been in?: 1... but that's not enough to actually love someone i've been told, so i need to find a couple more 7. how many people have you kissed?: can't really say, a couple 8. are you shy around your crush?: sure, dont really wanna be but o well 9. do you indulge in random hook-ups?: maybe, i dunno 10. still have feelings for anyone you've been in a past relationship with?: sometimes, but i think i'm just wasting my time when i do 11. do you know what it feels like to be in love?: i thought i did, but supposedly not 12. would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friends?: friends come first s p e c i f i c s 1. do you do drugs?: not worth it 2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: head and shoulders 3. what are you most scared of?: not fulfilling my true dreams 4. what are you listening to right now?: Weezer- the sweater song 5. who is the last person that called you?: that jessica girl (sorry) 6. where do you want to get married?: any place that gets the job done 7. what would you change about yourself?: truly caring for others and being there for them 8. what are essentials in your life?: family and friends 9. if you had the power to do any one thing, what would it be?: help the braves make it through the playoffs for once 10. what nationality are you?: American- both sides of the fam were here before we even had independence 11. do you send out holiday cards each year?: no, i let the mom take care of that but i think she forgot this past year h a v e | y o u | e v e r 1. given someone a bath?: maybe 2. smoked?: sure 3. bungee jumped?: nope 4. made yourself throw up?: yes 5. skinny dipped?: possibly 6. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: cant really say, maybe in the past 7. cried when someone died?: yes- uncle robert 8. fallen for your best friend?: no, but the girl i fell for turned into my best friend, but not anymore 9. been rejected?: yes, when your an asshole you can easily get rejected 10. rejected someone?: no one serious 11. used someone?: not really c u r r e n t 1. hair: fairly short 2. music: like i said weezer 3. make-up: no thanks 4. annoyance: bitches 5. scent: speed stick cuz im cheap like that, as long as i dont stink 6. favorite artist: RIP Marvin Gaye 7. favorite group: Earth, Wind and Fire 8. book you're reading: Bob Dylan Chronicles Volume One 9. cd in player: Marc Broussard (pride of louisiana) 10. dvd in player: use to have a Blue Angels dvd in earlier (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
10:50 pm	well, i guess it's time to let it all go. maybe things will work out later, but i'm progressing in my life, and you, well i have no idea what you are doing, but thats ok because i guess for now i don't need you. i just need to move on and better myself without you by my side. i guess its time to party hard or something because right now, mr. stew t ross has no worries. hooray! Current Mood: relaxed Current Music: marvin gaye (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 10th, 2005
12:10 pm	man, i just feel so miserable. i've lost a major part of my life whether she wants to hear it or not. it just hurts to know i had someone so awesome and beautiful in my life, but i threw all my chances away because it took me this long to realize what i was fortunate to have. why couldn't you have helped me with my problems earlier? maybe things would be better, or maybe they wouldn't. little things, like complimenting her and holding her hand in public, or showing her the respect she deserves, has torn our relationship to pieces, i just wish i could go back and teach my old self the new things i have learned. sitting alone every night here in valdosta i tried to teach myself new things and work on my mistakes that would make my life better, and i thought about how i couldn't wait to see jessica again so that i could show her how hard i was working to make our relationship better. what hurts me is that i never got the chance to show her the "refreshed" stewart ross. one who has gone on a quest to find out who he is and what he wants to do with himself and his life. of course, i wish she would give me another chance, but that is not going to happen at least anytime soon. maybe by december when i move back home, things will work out. and if they don't, so help me god. i mean seriously, if she needs to take a break, i will just have to respect her decisions, but i pray that she will not just run off with someone else. i need her in my life because she means so much. my good friends like ryan and mark and matt and jon can help me, but i mean ryan and i can only bike so many miles before i need to talk/hang out with her. (ryan my knees better so riding in atl for sure this coming weekend) i never would have thought i could write this much at once, but i mean hey, since i have been here doing all my schoolwork at vsu, i'm actually reading and writing literature (stewart, reading? no way!). yea, i've felt better about myself since i'm actually working hard in school. but, i guess this is all i will say for right now, it's not a finished project, but i feel a little bit better about my situation just by writing something. it just isn't the right time for all this to happen to me, i was feeling so well, posi about my what i thought was "changed" self. Current Mood: guilty Current Music: Bob Dylan - Tangled Up in Blue (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 4th, 2005
11:46 pm	god, sometimes i feel like crap after someone tells me that they will be there and then they wont. why is it that they can never answer their phone, when they know someone is gonna call? maybe they are just ignoring me because im just another piece of shit. Current Mood: depressed (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 2nd, 2005
8:24 pm	why? why is it that some people just piss you off so bad that you just wanna yell and hit that person. i dont know why i feel like this but i just dont f'ing understand them most of the time. i either feel like this person is just so f'ing retarded, or i'm just too overwhelmed with what is happening. all i kno is f'em i'll see you in the future i guess. Current Music: I Used To Love Her- Every Time I Die (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
9:30 pm	stay fly Current Music: three 6 mafia- roll with it (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 15th, 2005
12:45 am	what? hooray for organic foods! o yea, don't forget to shake dat laffy taffy this weekend Current Music: Heroes and Conspiracies- Most Precious Blood (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
8:47 pm	so thanks to west georgia nad chattahooche i am now completely screwed college wise and have no school to go to next year. o well, time for myrtle beach this summer i guess Current Music: down by the bay - Raffi (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
4:08 am	only patrick would remeber this, but i just thought of this: Neil Young = northern bitch that i liked Lynyrd Skynyrd = southern legends that you liked o what good times (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
4:00 pm	MILWAUKEE - A new Ms. Wheelchair Wisconsin has been crowned after pageant leaders stripped the original winner of the title when she appeared in a newspaper photograph standing up. Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
7:03 pm	i know i'm lame for copying this but o well. ur a BITCH if u look at this and don't fill it out.... 1) How long have you known me? 2) When and where did we meet? 3) What were the first words I said to you, and you said to me? 4) Did I make a good first impression? 5) What was the first thing you heard about me from other people? 6) What, if any, songs remind you of me? 7) Would you consider me a friend? 8) Have you ever had a crush on me? (You can skip this one if you want. I can generally fill in the answer: No) 9) How old do I act? 10) What's my best feature? Physical or otherwise. 11) What's my worst feature? Physical or otherwise. 12) Have you ever wanted me to shut up and leave you alone? 13) Were we ever enemies? 14) Where do you see me 10 years from now? 15) Will you post this on your livejournal so I can answer yours? If no, why? Current Music: blood, sweat, and tears - and when i die (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
12:09 am	future plans? so here we go, if me and tyler go to myrtle beach, i'll get a job, save money, and then attend coastal carolina university. its only 9 miles from m-beach so it wouldn't be a long drive. but if that doesnt go through, then i might join the navy, do that for the minimum amount of time and save money for college. then when i get out, i'll venture my way down to miami and attend florida international university with the money i've saved. i think either path would be a fun, but challenging journey. if anybody wants to join me just say something because the more the merrier. alright later. GET SOME! Current Mood: blah (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 28th, 2005
11:24 am	You Belong in 1969 1969 If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good! What Year Do You Belong In? (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 7th, 2005
2:14 am	no more please so is it bad to be failing all 4 classes midway through school? god i hate this place! someone please get me out of here. Current Mood: angry (3 Comments |Comment on this)